Holiday abuse at it's worst

The Salt Lake Tribune reported yesterday that a new form of child abuse has been found in happy valley. After a short and not very drawn out conversation between parents and child it has been agreed that child will no longer be made to attend abuse sessions. Although the family was not available for comment, the child is believed to be recovering well. Doctor's say if his cootie count remains low he will be released to a rehab center at a tackle football camp come spring.